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THE PhD's OPINION: "Click the Link Before You Puke In The Sink."

Updated: Jun 30, 2022

Click click before you get sick

Click this link before you puke in the sink

It's a Family Tradition

Click Click Before You Get Sick!

Click The Link B4 U Puke In The Sink!!

For Aunt Elgia

by Aunt Martha

We were at loggerheads.

In a Silent Way.

I was hungover.

She had nothing to say.

Except. . .


"It’s your favorite!"

"What’s wrong?"

"Is it something to do

with that drink?

Or that bong?"

"I smelled both this morning

And despite what you may think

I know you threw up

In our kitchen -- in the sink."

"That's why we're here now --

At our favorite place --

I -- with my fajitas,

You, that look on your face."

More soda!

More cheese dip!

More quacamole!

More chips!

"I'm sorry you can't enjoy this.

Won't you just take a sip?"

"See what you're missing out on?

Did you have 'fun' last night?

I hope it was worth it.

Won't you just take a bite?"

"You want to go home now?

It's Casa Gallardo 'til I'm through.

Mi Casa su Casa!!

I don't care if you spew."

"Your single mom was too tired --

Working night and day --

To deal with your nonsense

As I am today."

"More onions!

More fish tacos!

More peppers!

More shrimp!"

I was shaking--

Hunched over.

I was mute.

I was limp.

"How do you feel in the morning?

Give it one good, long think!

I hope you'll remember

Before you take your next drink."

My innards were churning.

My mind -- it raced.

My head it was pounding,

Get me out of this place!!!

I feel it coming.

I lurch and swallow hard

I thought I could make it,

But. . .

I puked in the yard.

I can laugh about it now. That was my Auntie Elgia and me. Elgia Mendoza Rivera Latham. When I was 16 I was sent to live with Aunt Elgia and Uncle Bob (my mother's brother) in Thonotosassa Florida. I was in 11th grade and went to King High School there.I was a beast of a burden to them, and Aunt Elgia and Uncle Bob never once yelled at or shamed me or made me feel stupid or ugly or promiscuous (which I was). Not once! I quit abusing all substances when I was with them, and Auntie Elgia taught me to cook. She died at 3:30 a.m. today. I found out this morning when I reached for the phone at about 9:30 a.m. God rest that woman's soul. The only thing she and Uncle Bob (Friend) could've done better is take me to an AA Meeting. I didn't find AA until 20 years later.

This is True Story.

I had a dream last night. I told my partner about it (before I knew Auntie Elgia had died) because it was the first good dream I remember having in years. (I have many recurring nightmares about old trauma related to an accident my sister had that I witnessed.) This dream was good and joyous and new. It was a first--person dream. I was with my current partner. We were exploring a huge house together. It was a huge, funky, ancient house. It was so big we could choose to see each other when wanted but could otherwise be alone. Somehow, every room had a porch with a view to cobblestone and brick streets -- like Charleston, SC. My brother, my sister and I had all renovated that house together- -- and this is the best part -- we were all moving in together -- to live together -- in that huge, funky, ancient house. I think that's where Auntie Elgia and Uncle Bob are right now. They'll be together at Arlington and there, too.

For whom the belle tolls.

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