THE PhD's OPINION: This is a not religious program.

Updated: Jun 30

Please step away from the sweets, sex, and your cell.


THIS IS NOT A RELIGIOUS PROGRAM


STEP 1 - WE ADMITTED WE HAD NOT YET LEARNED IMPULSE-CONTROL (We're impatient).


Materials needed:

- A Quiet Place

- Floor Cushion or Chair

- Your Cell Phone if You Have One

- Timer

- Calendar

- Pencil and Paper (Print this out and use it if you wish).


Directions:


____Get a pencil and a calendar.


____Go to a place where you and your group can find the most silence without interruption.


____Take your shoes off. (Optional: (Sniff, Sniff). . ."Who let the dogs out?!?")


____Sit upright (spine erect as your body will allow you) on floor, cushion, chair, or desk.


____Shut down your computer, games, and all other electronics -- for now.


____Turn off all notifications on your phone -- for good.


____Turn your ringer off -- for now.


____Breathe in and hold.


____Use your Inside Voice to say to yourself, "This too. . ."


____Breathe out and hold.


____Use your Inside Voice to say to yourself, ". . .shall pass."


____Set a timer for 40 minutes (for adults) or 1 minute for each year in school.


Example: 3-year-old Kindergarten = 3 minutes

4-year-old Kindergarten = 4 minutes

5-year-old Kindergarten = 5 minutes

1st Grade = 6 minutes

2nd Grade = 7 minutes

. . .

12th Grade = 12 minutes

. . .

4th Year College = 16 minutes+


____Close your eyes and sit still until that there timer goes off.


_____While breathing in, repeat to yourself, "This too. . ."


_____While breathing out, repeat to yourself, ". . .shall pass."


_____While breathing in, repeat to yourself, "This too. . ."


_____While breathing out, repeat to yourself, ". . .shall pass."


_____While breathing in, repeat to yourself, "This too. . ."


_____While breathing out, repeat to yourself, ". . .shall pass."


(These are push-ups for your brain.)


____When the timer goes off, open your eyes and sit quietly for a minute, not making eye contact with anyone.


____Get your calendar and think:


____What 1 hour each day would be a good time to read and respond to your cell phone?


____Write that on your calendar, and turn your phone off except during that hour (or at night if you have aging parents or other people who might need you in an emergency).


____When and where will you sit and do this "Letting Go" thing every day for 30 days?


____Write that time and place on your calendar, and beside it write "Practice Letting Go" or "Let Go" or "Meditate" or whatever. Call it what you will.


____Just Do It -- for 30 days.


____For the 1st 30 days, go to AA, NA, or Other Recovery Support Group and pick up a White Chip for every day you meditate. https://aasecular.org/about-us/


The Doctor's Opinion (Ph.D.): There are those, too, who are not yet capable of being completely honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault. They seem to some to have been born that way--but they have not. Being honest with yourself about yourself just takes practice--especially if your family punished you for making mistakes instead of teaching you. Either way you're going to learn something from mistakes.


It's either:

"You fool!" "You embarrass me!" "You should be ashamed of yourself!" "What will everyone else think about you now?" "You shamed our family name!" "Don't you want to be success?" "I want you to be wise!"


or


"Thank you for telling me that." "As the adult here, I am here to help you through this--that's what adults do." "We can do this together." "We will get outside help and go to a good counselor if we need to." "I promise you, this is just another opportunity to learn." "I was not born perfect either!"


I promise you, parents mean well. They just didn't know to do it sometimes. That's why, for example, my friend's parents told her, "You look like a whore," when her clothes were too short and too tight. She was honest with herself about that and said, "That made me and act and dress worse and not better."


I love you just the way you are. You are safe, and you are loved. And not just by me. But I love you every day, all the time, to the moon and all the way back, always and forever, No Matter What!


Be Better--Be Your Best Self,


Spook W. and Dr. P ( Ph.D. Professor Don't-call-me-doctor, please!).

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